But When I Can I Will
7am alarm
7:25am alarm
7:45am - 8:30am drive Bea to school.
I dread it like I dreaded walking to school in Northern Canada. Especially after several weird murders in the neighborhood.
One victims car was parked on our quiet ravine street in front of my bedroom window. It was 1983 or ‘82.
I remember the CBC interviewing our neighbors. All of us watching it on channel four.
Another victim was a little girl who was a year older than me. Snatched on her way to school.
We can’t control so many things that end up defining how we react, not who we are.
I think as we get older, things don’t get easier. Relationships, finances, health issues become so complex that we just have to let a lot of the stories we’ve told ourselves go.
This morning Bea played Mayonaise and I told her I used to play that in the car with my mom on the way to high school too.
She smiles.
“Full circle.”
Do you want to kitty cat?
Your story reminds me of my family’s. Richard Ramirez raped and killed a lady a few houses down from my childhood home where my dad still lives. My mom was pregnant at the time and scared as fuck. My dad bought a gun during that time and around Christmas he pulled it out for some reason and mentioned that. This was also around 84.’ I was born in 93 so I was not around for that. Also the house next door to me, their babysitter used to be Leslie van houten one of the Manson follower’s. The house sold and a new family moved in, had kids, and I babysat there. I did not grow up to become a Manson follower. I don’t know why I wrote this but I felt compelled to share. ❤️
Did you also write to the address that was listed in the liner notes to get the handwritten lyrics sent to you from Billy Corgan? 😂 I did! Of course I don’t have them anymore 😭