Dear Successful Single Women: You're Not the Problem, Their Fragile Ego Is​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Working Girl- Mike Nichols

Dear Woman Who Makes More Than Him,

Isn’t it fascinating? The higher a man climbs professionally, the wider his dating pool expands. But as a woman scales those same heights, her options mysteriously evaporate. It’s almost as if men actively reject successful women because they’re successful. What a curious evolutionary glitch to reject a possible mate because they might… outshine you?

The fragility is breathtaking. A man will swipe left on a woman who could double their household income, provide intellectual stimulation, and bring ambition to the relationship, all because her success might make his wang feel smaller. Imagine turning down a winning lottery ticket because you’re insecure about not finding it yourself.

They don’t tell you the part about success turning into romantic poison. Not in those girlboss manifestos, not in commencement speeches orated by sweaty palmed geniuses.

The stats they hide from you: 86% of men admit they’re “uncomfortable” dating women who outearn them. Uncomfortable. Like when you sit on a hot car seat in shorts. Except the hot seat is your accomplishments and their shorts are their fragile egos.

Female CEOs: 15% less likely to find partners. Male CEOs: 91% more likely to be married than peers. Your corner office comes with a relationship penalty. His comes with a harem of options. Same achievement, opposite rewards. It’s like finding out you’re playing Monopoly but everyone else gets $500 when they pass Go and you have to pay a tax.

They teach women to shrink, but never teach men to grow. Which explains why relationships where women outearn men are 93% more likely to end in divorce, mostly initiated by him.

Picture him: the golden boy who always came in first. Captain of something. His father’s pride. Now picture his face when people at parties are more interested in your work than his. The silent devastation of being outperformed by… a girl? The same girl who’s supposed to be gazing adoringly at his profile, now has people gazing at hers.

It’s not that the system is broken. It’s operating exactly as designed—to ensure men’s success enhances their value while women’s success diminishes theirs.

But here’s the joke they don’t get: wealthy women report being happier alone than their male counterparts. While men’s happiness plummets without a partner, women’s soars with each zero added to their bank account. Studies show women recover from breakups faster, build stronger support networks, and report higher life satisfaction in singlehood. Turns out freedom from having to pretend you’re not smart is its own kind of wealth. The happiness gap between single women and married women grows with every dollar they earn. It’s almost like not having to apologize for success feels good. Who knew?

The men scared of successful women are evolutionary dead-ends with the emotional resilience of a sponge. They’d rather feel big in tiny ponds than swim in your ocean.

Meanwhile, successful women are mastering multiple domains excelling professionally while maintaining deeper friendships, stronger family ties, and richer inner lives. The skills that make women great leaders: emotional intelligence, multitasking, communication, also make them spectacular at creating fulfilling lives with or without a partner.

Your success isn’t baggage. It’s the world’s most efficient screening tool. Think of your success as a metal detector that beeps loudly around fragile male egos. What a time-saver. Besides, women are better at managing money anyway, we make more thoughtful investments, take smarter risks, and plan for longer futures because we are good at that. Maybe that’s what terrifies them.

Let them have their fragility. You’ve got better things to do.

Kelly