Downsizing With Marie Kondo Ruined My Life And I Will Never Stop Talking About It.

Tonight, I’m putting on lipstick because I’m about to have people over. Some of these people have never been to my house before, so I’ll give them “The Tour.”

People will spend the most time looking at my bookshelves.

But here is my problem with the tour: All of my books are not on my bookshelves. It goes without saying, I have no interest in sharing that with every guest looking over my books.

First-edition English-translated Murakami and thirty-year-old copies of Nin and Plath have been stolen by my book-reading daughters. If you want to look at my bookshelves, you’ll have to go in their rooms.

But the real villain here is Marie Kondo. She hit me in the shoes, clothes and books department at a level I believe most people would have meltdowns over.