… in the tenth grade, I received my first sleepover invite by a cheerleader and school hallway icon. Not only a rich kid, but the prettiest human being in the tenth grade: Paulina Strauss.
I took stock of my situation.
1. What could I offer this sleepover?
2. What would I wear to a rich kid’s house?
3. What did I know about Paulina and who was going?
Here’s what I could offer: As someone with far less privilege than the girls attending the sleepover, I had to lean on my one important title. Video store clerk. I knew every good movie and I had first access to tapes of films that weren’t even releasable yet. I thought about what movies to bring… Heathers? I’m sure they’ve seen it. Dogfight? Party Girl?
It should be sophisticated yet sleepover-y campy.
It should have swoon-y actors.
I know, I thought, BOXING HELENA!
So, I don’t know if you know of Boxing Helena? It’s a bizarre NC-17 sex film. I brought an utterly fucked up porn to my first all-girls High School sleepover. He amputates his lover and puts her in a box and keeps fucking her? (I think?)
I’ve also learned that the movie cost 2M to make, Kim Basinger was sued for 8M for backing out of it and was bankrupt. But, back to what I remember.
After a quick assessment of my closet, my mother’s old asks ring in my ears, “Why don’t you ever look like a Gap AD? Can you please just look like a Gap AD?” I decided it was time to satiate my mother and don a little babydoll black tank dress over a baby white t-shirt. A velvet choker with a cross dangling from it around my neck (which I put on after I left the house, I’m not crazy.) Brown lipstick, hairspray, White Diamonds… I was ready. I’d gone for my favorite flannel pajamas, lilac. (Just like I’m never right to my children, my mother was never right- unless she was right. That time she was right.)
I knew Paulina had the perfectly pitched laugh and was the daughter of a diamond dealer and a lawyer. Her honey blonde hair framed her high cheekbones and thin, long, beautifully perk nose. Her legs were toned of ballet, and her seemingly haunted hooded blue eyes were hard to look at, too beautiful, too sad. Jesus Christ, I was obsessed maybe? No, No. Okay, so I’d also heard Priya Panayam would be there… her father once told me I looked like the actual girl the Barbie was designed after, he totally freaked me out. It was a really nice compliment, but he gave it to me in front of all the girls and I felt so stupid. He died the next year. Rachel Klein is also supposed to be there, she just got her braces off and that’s all I really know about her.
Here’s what I remember. It was my last sleepover with those three girls. They were fucking horrified. They told everyone I was weird and sexual. It actually helped me stay away from a terrible group of people in High School and it was rather easy to find my people after that. I just kept bringing porn to girls sleepovers until one of them told me I was gay as hell. I denied it, I love men. I still love men. But when I was nineteen, I met a girl named Jennifer and knew I was done for.
Bringing Boxing Helena to a sleepover is the most quintessential teenage Kelly Oxford move imaginable! A punchline that doubles as an elevator pitch for an authentic life. Weeding out those friend-duds one Sherilyn Fenn reference at a time...
I have thought that you look like the original barbie !! That would be freaky to have an adult male say that to you in front of all the kids. Have you ever considered being tested for autism? Girls get missed because we mask so hard.