I Was A Trad Wife And Then The Breadwinner And None Of It Matters

We don’t peak before we turn thirty in any way but reproductively.
I don’t even think 20% of us peak in success or beauty before age forty.

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I spent my twenties with my children, baking and cooking, driving my husband to the train station in the morning, and picking him up in the afternoons. I made butter, baby food, bread, and vegan ice cream for shits and giggles. I was a traditional wife and shared it online from 2000–2012. Then, when I was done, I took the reins financially.

I found the transitions I made into the workforce were not difficult after being a traditional wife. I was a mother, doctor, chef, shopper, stylist, hairdresser, pharmacist, therapist, mediator, police officer, lawyer, housekeeper, bather, coach, driver, and Paperwork Queen—all without a paycheck for twelve years.

Getting writing work, having one deadline at a time, people encouraging me, and a paycheck felt good. Being with my kids for the first twelve years of their lives also felt good.

Unfortunately, in the moment, I felt like I was sacrificing one life for the other. Often, at home, I wondered how I’d feel about myself if I were working for money. And while working for money, I wondered if I’d be happier at home again. What a fucking waste. I’ve learned, in long hindsight, to enjoy where I am.