Adrian and I carry our iced coffees and joint-making supplies down the white hallway lit by morning sun. He opens the metal screen door to the front porch for me. I hate this door. It is like a spring-loaded clamshell that wants to be shut at all times. I quickly move through the open door like I’m in an immunity challenge on Survivor. I don’t want the clamshell door to snap on me. I step into the fresh air of mosquitoes, butterflies and hummingbirds and ravens.
The ravens are new. A family of them moved onto my block about a year ago. Their clacks and clucks mingle into the air with the piercing hummingbird calls.
The mosquitoes are new. They moved into the neighborhood a few years ago with a load of bamboo.
“Hello!”
I look over as Adrian greets a man in his twenties. He is clean cut, on a Segway, with a clipboard.
“Hello, I’m just in the neighborhood seeing if any of you need…”
Ugh. I look over at the weed on the table and wish we were going to spend the next five minutes rolling it instead of participating in this interaction we are about to have. I’m annoyed that Adrian is engaging. But he’s so nice, of course he’s engaging. When sales people come to my door, I don’t allow them to go into their spiel. I don’t think they want to waste their time. I certainly don’t want to waste my time.
I say, “Hello, sorry I'm not interested. Thanks! Have a nice Segway!”
“This sounds good.” Adrian nods to the Segway man, looking at his clipboard.
A raven makes a call that can only be described as an alien singing morse code.
“What is it?” I ask the clean-cut segway man.
“We fog your yard for mosquitoes once a month.” I nod and raise my unplucked eyebrows as I sip my coffee. My eyesight has gotten very bad in the last several months, it’s been hard to pluck. I don’t know why my mind races like this.
Adrian pays the Segway man and rolls the joint and we smoke it and I watch the smoke billow into the street and the people walking their dogs look around and try to figure out where the smoke is coming from.
I sip my sweet, cold coffee as a neighbor's landscaper turns on a leaf blower. A Monarch butterfly sweeps low in front of me. I thank Adrian for getting rid of the mosquitoes.
It really is annoying when boyfriends engage.
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