I hate the last two years of pandemic. I really think it’s going to be never ending. We all know there’s a new Covid variant out there: Omicron. It sounds like a Decepticon Transformer, but it’s not as funny.
I’m used to being in my house.
I’m used to Zoom meetings.
I’m used to being freaked out by seeing people’s mouths.
I’m used to being worried about going places.
I’m used to feeling this sense of sadness and grimness.
I’m used to sweatpants.
I just answered my door in period-stained sweatpants. I simply do not give a shit anymore.
And sometimes not giving a shit feels pretty great.
If you asked me today if I care about half the things I cared about pre-covid, I’d say no.
Now, I go out without makeup or doing my hair. I wear Uggs. I dye my own hair.
Do I care about these changes?
A hard no.
Should I have even cared about those things before? I don’t know.
I hate everything right now. I’m not sure what I know. I’m not sure what’s a no for me.
Today’s playlist is a mix of how I’m feeling today.
Plans are a joke. The will to do very much is a joke. I’m just going to live the best way I possibly can, and my expectations will remain low.
I’m sorry this newsletter is a bummer.
This mood will pass.
I’ll make fun of myself tomorrow.
I’m finally catching up on these (20 days later) and i gotta say I’m glad I subscribed and I’m glad you’re writing again. Your books are great and you have a gift with words. Somehow even though we’re all in this living hell, reading your post makes me feel like I’m not screaming out loud like Zoolander and crazy pills. I’m here for the ride, thanks Kelly.
p.s. I’m also gonna start my own blog, mostly just as an exercise but also cause I feel this need to get the words out of my head.
Same. I’m sick of the overarching sense of doom. Just cancelled a trip yesterday because I can’t muster up what it’ll take to do all of the Covid things necessary to travel outside of Canada. This makes me mad at myself. Sad at the state of things. Blah.