Saturday Morning Emails: Barbra Streisand to Shirley McLaine.

**From:** bstreisand@malibucompound.com

**To:** shirley@pastlifemailing.com

**Subject:** About my third greenhouse - URGENT

**Date:** April 25, 2025, 9:17 AM

Dearest Shirley,

I'm still recovering from our birthday celebration yesterday. The lighting in the east garden was perfect for the cake, don't you think? Meryl's impression of both of us accepting Oscars simultaneously was exactly right, though I would have angled my body 15 degrees more to the left for better camera positioning.

I need to tell you about something I've discovered. You know I've always listened politely while you went on about energy fields and past lives (remember when you tried to convince me I was Marie Antoinette's favorite violinist?) Well, I've found something truly quantifiable. ROSES have the highest vibrational frequency of any living thing—320 MHz. I had my sound engineer verify this with precise equipment. That's four times higher than the human body! Even in your most transcendent meditation on that mountain in Tibet, you never hit 320 MHz.

I've completely redesigned my third greenhouse (the one behind the replica of the Louvre fountain, not the one with the orchid specimens from Brazil). It's now a precisely calibrated rose vibration chamber. I had the landscapers plant them in a perfect spiral pattern, color-coordinated by frequency. James says the rose obsession makes me impossible to live with, but he thought that before the roses when I had the living room paint color adjusted seventeen times.

When we were in my basement mall yesterday and you complained about the lighting when trying on those Dior pieces, it wasn't the bulbs, (I had them specifically installed to replicate perfect afternoon sunlight), it was the ROSES I planted there. Their frequency was interfering with your energy field. The roses have better taste than you do anyway. That chartreuse caftan was a violation of both good taste and frequency harmony.

Did you notice Diana Ross walking off with the jacket we both wanted? And how Adele's face froze when we both made the exact same wish blowing out our candles? (My sources confirmed we both wished for Robert Redford to direct again—although I added a specific clause about him considering my screenplay.)

I've scheduled my gardener to visit your Santa Fe property tomorrow at precisely 9:15 AM. Don't argue.

With higher frequencies than ever,

Barbra

P.S. I've arranged a session with Dr. Gottfried next week for advanced rose placement therapy. Your chakras are desperately out of alignment—I can tell from your posture in the third photo we took yesterday. And the roses have informed me that Yentl deserves not just a sequel but a complete reimagining as a three-part series.

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**From:** shirley@pastlifemailing.com

**To:** bstreisand@malibucompound.com

**Subject:** Re: About my third greenhouse - URGENT

**Date:** April 26, 2025, 10:07 AM

Barbra, my cosmic birthday twin,

After traversing this planet for 91 years (and approximately 612 years in my various incarnations—including that delightful period when I was a court musician in ancient Persia, where, by the way, roses were considered sacred), I've learned to recognize when the universe delivers a cosmic joke. You discovering the high frequency of roses the day after our shared birthday celebration is the universe winking at both of us.

Of COURSE roses vibrate at 320 MHz! The ancients knew this! I shared this wisdom with you during the Carter administration while you were auditioning those 44 different shades of cream paint for your living room wall. I specifically remember telling you about the rose frequency while you were holding paint sample number 37 ("Whispering Dawn") up to the eastern wall at precisely 3:15 PM to check the afternoon light.

That chartreuse caftan was a deliberate choice, darling. I was channeling my 12th-century self who served as a colorblind court jester to Eleanor of Aquitaine. The discomfort you felt witnessing that color was actually an important spiritual lesson about transcending visual judgment. Every discomfort is an opportunity for growth.

I'm still laughing about Steven Spielberg asking if we were sisters. I told him, "Yes, separated by eight years and seventeen lifetimes." I didn't elaborate on which lifetimes specifically because DeNiro was within earshot, and he gets so uncomfortable when I discuss our shared past as Mongolian horse traders. You remember how awkward he became at your poker night when I mentioned it.

I spotted Jack Nicholson in your kitchen at 3 AM after everyone left, raiding your refrigerator and explaining string theory to your Persian cat. The cat seemed spiritually aligned but intellectually skeptical.

The roses didn't actually tell you about Yentl. That was your ego speaking. The roses and I had a lengthy telepathic conversation about your filmography while you were checking the dividend statements on your investment portfolio during our birthday lunch.

Traveling dimensions you've yet to discover,

Shirley

P.S. Dr. Gottfried learned everything he knows from Chapter 7 of my third book, specifically page 87, paragraph 3. I've been using rose frequencies since my 1974 trip to the rose gardens of Kashmir. I'll consider the duet the roses suggested, but only if I can design the album cover—my aura photographer has developed a technique to capture the 320 MHz vibration on film, creating a halo effect that would perfectly frame your profile from the left side, which we both know is your best angle.