The $200 Billion Cosplay: How Elon Musk Tries To Convince The World He Is Tony Stark When He's Actually Just Really Good At Buying Things.
People have called Elon Musk the real-life Tony Stark, but let's be real: Tony Stark actually built things. Elon just figured out how to hack the system so effectively that we're all trapped in his simulation of being a genius.
Here's the cheat code he discovered: You don't need to invent anything if you can convince everyone you invented everything.
The Elon Musk Success Story™:
Step 1: Have emerald mine money
Step 2: Buy other people's companies
Step 3: Pay extra to be called "founder"
Step 4: Tweet enough memes that people forget Step 1-3
Elon Musk is the world’s most expensive marketing campaign for a product that doesn’t exist: his own genius.
The most audacious hack of all?
The use of Nikola Tesla's name itself.
Let's appreciate the pure irony (define irony: fuck you Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites):
Nikola Tesla was an actual genius inventor who died penniless because he cared more about innovation than profit.
Elon Musk is a brilliant investor who became the world's richest man by convincing everyone he's an inventor. The fact that he's getting rich off Tesla's name while doing exactly what Tesla hated – prioritizing profit over innovation – is either the most brilliant or most disrespectful branding play in history.
Think about it: Nikola Tesla gave away his patents because he believed innovation should benefit humanity. Elon buys patents and companies, then convinces humanity he invented them. Tesla died broke in a hotel room because he refused to play the capitalism game. Elon's playing the capitalism game so well he bought the right to be associated with Tesla's legacy. It's like he's cosplaying as his own idealized version of an inventor.
Let's fact-check the simulation:
- Tesla? Bought it. Then paid to make everyone forget he bought it.
- PayPal? Got pushed out as CEO, kept the money.
- SpaceX? Hired actual rocket scientists while playing astronaut on Twitter.
- Twitter? Literally bought the platform that built his myth.
But wait, it gets better.
Remember the Hyperloop?
Elon's "revolutionary" transportation concept that was going to change everything?