What the Fuck
I tell Sarah, “I can’t drink two glasses of wine on my period. Woke up with the worst headache. Threw up one time during a hot flash that made me look like a boiled beet. I’ll send you a really great pic* for a menopause commercial.”
Sarah replies, “My mom said she didn’t get menopause. She had my brother when she was forty, breastfed him for five years and her period just stopped when my brother was done breastfeeding. No symptoms.”
”Holy shit.”
”Yeah,” she continues, “we don’t need estrogen and progesterone… we need oxytocin.”
And then it occurs to me. I know exactly what we need during our peri-menopausal state.
We need our tits sucked.
”We can do that. We can get oxytocin hits. Tell our partners the deal and if you’re single, I’m sure there are plenty of people who would volunteer to suck single women’s tits for three hours a day.”
An underground business. Heidi Fleiss of the tit sucker crew.
“What if I make this oxytocin boob sucking thing a business”
The Basic Rules I’ve just come up with in the past ten minutes: