Yesterday, My Pool Party Nightmare Came True.
I am an anxious person. There are many made-up “stressor” scenarios that I am adamantly trying to avoid. Some include driving in London, speaking in front of a court, and going blonde.
The Fourth of July was yesterday. I went to a pool party.
I have many pool party stress scenarios.
Here are the top three:
Falling into the pool and hitting my head. Falling in the pool on its own is enough, but hitting your head on the way down is the end of the pool party. After seeing Jillian Barberie fall into the pool at one of Howard Stern’s parties, I was scarred. She didn’t hit her head, but she was wearing leather leggings, and the leather bonded to her legs, and she couldn’t bend them when she was pulled from the pool.
One or both of my boobs unwittingly slipping out of my suit. Imagining myself just sitting there unknowingly with a tit out. It’s too funny, and I don’t want to laugh at it.
What happened to me yesterday as I strode past the pool?