I’ve been physically sick on and off for the past year. My body stopped fighting infections last fall and I’ve been relegated into these bouts of fatigue and fevers. I have doctors, so many doctors. I have an infectious disease doctor, which sounds really glamorous, like Dr. Fauci is at my table. But she basically just looks at my terrible test results and sits on the sidelines appearing to do nothing but hold a dope doctor’s title.
So damned sorry. Not on the level of your issues, I’ve had long COVID since Sept 20 and understand what you’re going through somewhat. Sending love and good thoughts your way.
Jul 7, 2022·edited Jul 8, 2022Liked by Kelly Oxford
As someone who has a rare skin condition, it is actually a rare form of a rare skin condition if I really get into it and is only on the right side of my body (if it could be even more random and unbalanced), I understand where you are coming from on many different levels. Unless you really pay attention, you don't see it since hiding it is something of my everyday routine. It is on every separate part of the right side in some way, hand all the way down to my toes. Changing my diet cleared it up a bit, no gluten etc. Also, red-light therapy and different oils. I too do not speak about it. We all have something. It went misdiagnosed until I was thirteen. I even was subjected to a round table of doctors when I was eleven, which means you and a bunch of other sick kids are put into a room by yourself and at least ten doctors come in one by one, asking a bunch of non-sensical questions for them to later discuss at a round table, hence the name, and all they could come up with is put calamine lotion on it, like I had not done that already. I had a bin of steroid creams and even steroid skin tape (that is a thing) which honestly are even worse than the actual skin condition. They basically threw their hands up metaphorically declaring me a medical mystery and I should be grateful it is not life threatening. I ended up getting really sick in high school, unrelated to this, and it was eventually diagnosed as Lyme disease and went into remission twice with 90 supplements a day for months. The two things that have helped me the most, if you have not tried or been exposed to yet, are Kinesthesiology (muscle testing) and Electromagnetic Therapy. The latter requires a body scan, and it also includes where you store emotions in your body, it's truly fascinating. I carry fear in my knees of all places, but it honestly grounds me to know what some of these body aches are if that makes sense. They also give you little drops to take to reset the magnetic fields in your body and I don't care if it is just a placebo, it works. I have also lost a lot of weight recently, yay stress, and get called "skelator" among many other degrading things because everyone is miserable these days, so I understand the inner rage and the difficulty it is to be kind, even to yourself. Do not mean to overshare, maybe just let you know you are not alone as I read this and feel less alone as well. The weighted blanket is a true friend. The following are a list, nothing new or groundbreaking, just suggestions, in the same realm of a weighted blanket, that bring me comfort in these times. Weighted Eye Pillow/Mask, copper dry brush, Infrared Sauna Blanket, PEMF Therapy Mat, Accupressure Mat, Moon Pod, The New York Times Wordle, meditation bench, singing bowls, Gua Shua, and a Jade Roller. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes being too much makes us feel like we are not enough, and I appreciate the candor. Much love. xx
Jul 7, 2022·edited Jul 7, 2022Liked by Kelly Oxford
I’m so sorry you are feeling this way.. you are appreciated! I’ve had Covid 2 times this year. My body does not feel the same as it did before. I am tired all the time. And I can’t seem to “be like before” like everyone wants me to. I feel so sad.
My doctor recently told me, "The body isn't designed to live past 40." He said, "After 40, it's all medicine keeping us alive and giving us a gentle landing to our death. Death used to be a surprise for most people." And I said, " Thank you Dr. Kafka," and went about my day. I'm not sure which I prefer, a gentle landing or to not see it coming. I'm sorry you're sick and I'm sending all my most nurturing thoughts to you. ❤️
Jul 7, 2022·edited Jul 7, 2022Liked by Kelly Oxford
I've been going through the same thing since last May. I only have an internal medicine doctor but maybe I'll be lucky enough to be upgraded to infectious disease!
Friends have commented on my weight as well, one went as far as jokingly saying that she wishes she could catch what I have so she could be thinner....GIRL! I'd rather be back to plump and happy then frantically stuffing calories down my throat in hopes I don't simply fade away.
It isn't fun. My heart goes out to you Kelly. I hope you get some real answers soon. There's only one chronic you need in your life!
Kelly, I’m so very sorry - chronic illness is a mutherfucker. Anyone who suffers from it is a Rock Star. I live with chronic complications from cancer surgeries and there are days where I feel so full of rage that I’m surprised I don’t explode on the spot. I miss my “old self” all the time. Tbh I’m so glad u wrote about this issue b/c NO one talks about it and it can make a person feel very lonely. I’m going to say a little prayer for you, (can’t hurt right?), that your situation somehow improves. Thx for sharing and I love your writing. Sending u good vibes from Toronto.🖤
Same same same. For 14 months now I have been seeing all the doctors and have been trying my hardest to continue my life, be a mom, work a demanding job, be a wife, daughter, friend, a person; all while trying to escape the funky shame that comes with chronic illness. And it’s not just chronic illness, but Undiagnosed chronic illness, which is a certain kind of frustrating hell where you even start to doubt your sickness because, as so many physicians have suggested, ‘maybe you’re just too stressed out.’ It’s a bag of dicks and I’m sorry for you. The burden is heavy and isolating and definitely too much. Xox
I have no advice. Just sending you some positive energy. You are loved and appreciated.❤️ Having poor health and feeling sad for long periods is exhausting. I hope you find some relief soon.
You are kind. I’ve followed your adventures since back in the day when I saw an article in the Edmonton Journal and thought THIS is the kind of funny shit I will open one of these Twitter accts for! :)
This feels like so long ago to me, and i’m sure to you it feels like so much longer. You’ve done/seen/accomplished/shared so much along the way and thanks for that, Kelly. Sorry you are dealing with chronic illness. Sucks that shitty things happen to good people. Thanks for writing about this part of your life, tho. Makes the world somehow feel less shitty when someone you admire/relate to shares their struggles with honesty and humor.
I had a parasite for 4 years (food poisoning from Trader Joe’s) and was constantly nauseated and overall sick. I got a lot of “but you don’t look sick” even tho I had lost a ton of weight and always had heavy bags under my eyes. Social life dwindled and it’s been hard making new friends since. Being chronically ill is exhausting in every way… sending love. ❤️
I'm so sorry. I've struggled with pain and mental shit since I was 10, only get multiple diagnoses when I was 40-42. The struggle is real. And the GRIEF is real. I hope you find answers and solutions. Sending you a hug. ❤️
Firstly, I am so sorry you are going through this. Being sick is hard work and really fucks with your mental health. I went from healthy dude to laying on the floor with chronic pain in my head, brain fog and a whole host of other things from 2017 to late 2018. Two years, gone. I still deal with pain but it's not nearly as bad now. I think the one gift that pain or illness can bring is a bit of clarity about what matters. A lot of bullshit does NOT matter at all. Keep only the good stuff. Time with your kids. A phone call with an old friend. Screw the rest and save that energy for feeling better. I felt too like I couldn't say anything publicly for a long time for fear of how people treat "sick people" but I sure did feel better 18 months in when I finally wrote about it. I hope you have a similar relief in sharing it here with your readers.
PS: Getting random medical advice from people who heard you are sick need to be retrained to just say "How are you feeling TODAY?" and then stop talking.
Thanks for sharing Kelly. It’s hard to go through the daily routine and stay positive with the weight of all that unknown. In 2020 I went through a similar experience (not Covid). Lost a 1/4 of my body weight, had 10 docs at Cedars. ID doc ran every gross test, nothing. I was a thorn in Cedars side not going away when they said IDK. Eventually a GI doc fixed me, but it took 12 months. My partner went from helpful to ambivalent to hostile (to gone). Little things kept me going: walks outdoors, meditation, tai chi, friends checking in, and basically making all sorts of wild plans for stuff to do once I got better. Sounds like you have all these literal and figurative weighted blankets lined up. Embrace them. And stay aggressive at the docs, don’t take IDKs for an answer.
Hate to hear this. Now when anyone says they have a bunch of health problems no one can figure out I automatically think breast implant illness. I know that’s not your problem, I have no advice to give. You are not a burden. Appreciate those who want to help shoulder some of the weight. Filter all that “not wanting to be a burden” feeling into appreciation. Just be so gd thankful to the people that want to help you that you forget to feel like a burden.
So damned sorry. Not on the level of your issues, I’ve had long COVID since Sept 20 and understand what you’re going through somewhat. Sending love and good thoughts your way.
As someone who has a rare skin condition, it is actually a rare form of a rare skin condition if I really get into it and is only on the right side of my body (if it could be even more random and unbalanced), I understand where you are coming from on many different levels. Unless you really pay attention, you don't see it since hiding it is something of my everyday routine. It is on every separate part of the right side in some way, hand all the way down to my toes. Changing my diet cleared it up a bit, no gluten etc. Also, red-light therapy and different oils. I too do not speak about it. We all have something. It went misdiagnosed until I was thirteen. I even was subjected to a round table of doctors when I was eleven, which means you and a bunch of other sick kids are put into a room by yourself and at least ten doctors come in one by one, asking a bunch of non-sensical questions for them to later discuss at a round table, hence the name, and all they could come up with is put calamine lotion on it, like I had not done that already. I had a bin of steroid creams and even steroid skin tape (that is a thing) which honestly are even worse than the actual skin condition. They basically threw their hands up metaphorically declaring me a medical mystery and I should be grateful it is not life threatening. I ended up getting really sick in high school, unrelated to this, and it was eventually diagnosed as Lyme disease and went into remission twice with 90 supplements a day for months. The two things that have helped me the most, if you have not tried or been exposed to yet, are Kinesthesiology (muscle testing) and Electromagnetic Therapy. The latter requires a body scan, and it also includes where you store emotions in your body, it's truly fascinating. I carry fear in my knees of all places, but it honestly grounds me to know what some of these body aches are if that makes sense. They also give you little drops to take to reset the magnetic fields in your body and I don't care if it is just a placebo, it works. I have also lost a lot of weight recently, yay stress, and get called "skelator" among many other degrading things because everyone is miserable these days, so I understand the inner rage and the difficulty it is to be kind, even to yourself. Do not mean to overshare, maybe just let you know you are not alone as I read this and feel less alone as well. The weighted blanket is a true friend. The following are a list, nothing new or groundbreaking, just suggestions, in the same realm of a weighted blanket, that bring me comfort in these times. Weighted Eye Pillow/Mask, copper dry brush, Infrared Sauna Blanket, PEMF Therapy Mat, Accupressure Mat, Moon Pod, The New York Times Wordle, meditation bench, singing bowls, Gua Shua, and a Jade Roller. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes being too much makes us feel like we are not enough, and I appreciate the candor. Much love. xx
I’m so sorry you are feeling this way.. you are appreciated! I’ve had Covid 2 times this year. My body does not feel the same as it did before. I am tired all the time. And I can’t seem to “be like before” like everyone wants me to. I feel so sad.
My doctor recently told me, "The body isn't designed to live past 40." He said, "After 40, it's all medicine keeping us alive and giving us a gentle landing to our death. Death used to be a surprise for most people." And I said, " Thank you Dr. Kafka," and went about my day. I'm not sure which I prefer, a gentle landing or to not see it coming. I'm sorry you're sick and I'm sending all my most nurturing thoughts to you. ❤️
I've been going through the same thing since last May. I only have an internal medicine doctor but maybe I'll be lucky enough to be upgraded to infectious disease!
Friends have commented on my weight as well, one went as far as jokingly saying that she wishes she could catch what I have so she could be thinner....GIRL! I'd rather be back to plump and happy then frantically stuffing calories down my throat in hopes I don't simply fade away.
It isn't fun. My heart goes out to you Kelly. I hope you get some real answers soon. There's only one chronic you need in your life!
Sitting with you in this. No advice. No judgment. Just with you.
Kelly, I’m so very sorry - chronic illness is a mutherfucker. Anyone who suffers from it is a Rock Star. I live with chronic complications from cancer surgeries and there are days where I feel so full of rage that I’m surprised I don’t explode on the spot. I miss my “old self” all the time. Tbh I’m so glad u wrote about this issue b/c NO one talks about it and it can make a person feel very lonely. I’m going to say a little prayer for you, (can’t hurt right?), that your situation somehow improves. Thx for sharing and I love your writing. Sending u good vibes from Toronto.🖤
I’m so sorry you’re sick. You can complain on here all you like. Make it like a daily journal and we’ll all join you and say FUCK THIS SHITTY SHIT
Same same same. For 14 months now I have been seeing all the doctors and have been trying my hardest to continue my life, be a mom, work a demanding job, be a wife, daughter, friend, a person; all while trying to escape the funky shame that comes with chronic illness. And it’s not just chronic illness, but Undiagnosed chronic illness, which is a certain kind of frustrating hell where you even start to doubt your sickness because, as so many physicians have suggested, ‘maybe you’re just too stressed out.’ It’s a bag of dicks and I’m sorry for you. The burden is heavy and isolating and definitely too much. Xox
I have no advice. Just sending you some positive energy. You are loved and appreciated.❤️ Having poor health and feeling sad for long periods is exhausting. I hope you find some relief soon.
You are kind. I’ve followed your adventures since back in the day when I saw an article in the Edmonton Journal and thought THIS is the kind of funny shit I will open one of these Twitter accts for! :)
This feels like so long ago to me, and i’m sure to you it feels like so much longer. You’ve done/seen/accomplished/shared so much along the way and thanks for that, Kelly. Sorry you are dealing with chronic illness. Sucks that shitty things happen to good people. Thanks for writing about this part of your life, tho. Makes the world somehow feel less shitty when someone you admire/relate to shares their struggles with honesty and humor.
I had a parasite for 4 years (food poisoning from Trader Joe’s) and was constantly nauseated and overall sick. I got a lot of “but you don’t look sick” even tho I had lost a ton of weight and always had heavy bags under my eyes. Social life dwindled and it’s been hard making new friends since. Being chronically ill is exhausting in every way… sending love. ❤️
I'm so sorry. I've struggled with pain and mental shit since I was 10, only get multiple diagnoses when I was 40-42. The struggle is real. And the GRIEF is real. I hope you find answers and solutions. Sending you a hug. ❤️
Firstly, I am so sorry you are going through this. Being sick is hard work and really fucks with your mental health. I went from healthy dude to laying on the floor with chronic pain in my head, brain fog and a whole host of other things from 2017 to late 2018. Two years, gone. I still deal with pain but it's not nearly as bad now. I think the one gift that pain or illness can bring is a bit of clarity about what matters. A lot of bullshit does NOT matter at all. Keep only the good stuff. Time with your kids. A phone call with an old friend. Screw the rest and save that energy for feeling better. I felt too like I couldn't say anything publicly for a long time for fear of how people treat "sick people" but I sure did feel better 18 months in when I finally wrote about it. I hope you have a similar relief in sharing it here with your readers.
PS: Getting random medical advice from people who heard you are sick need to be retrained to just say "How are you feeling TODAY?" and then stop talking.
Thanks for sharing Kelly. It’s hard to go through the daily routine and stay positive with the weight of all that unknown. In 2020 I went through a similar experience (not Covid). Lost a 1/4 of my body weight, had 10 docs at Cedars. ID doc ran every gross test, nothing. I was a thorn in Cedars side not going away when they said IDK. Eventually a GI doc fixed me, but it took 12 months. My partner went from helpful to ambivalent to hostile (to gone). Little things kept me going: walks outdoors, meditation, tai chi, friends checking in, and basically making all sorts of wild plans for stuff to do once I got better. Sounds like you have all these literal and figurative weighted blankets lined up. Embrace them. And stay aggressive at the docs, don’t take IDKs for an answer.
Hate to hear this. Now when anyone says they have a bunch of health problems no one can figure out I automatically think breast implant illness. I know that’s not your problem, I have no advice to give. You are not a burden. Appreciate those who want to help shoulder some of the weight. Filter all that “not wanting to be a burden” feeling into appreciation. Just be so gd thankful to the people that want to help you that you forget to feel like a burden.